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Donald Rumsfeld endorses Hillary!

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Donald Rumsfeld endorsed Hillary Clinton earlier today, saying “I believe Secretary Clinton is the steady hand we need in the various wars we are fighting”. This was greeted by the DNC as yet another sign that moderate, mainstream, responsible Republicans are deserting their toxic nominee. 

Rumsfeld, who served as defense secretary under George W. Bush, is remembered for his commitment to sharing enduring freedoms with unfortunate countries requiring an assist to vault into the age of democracy. “I believe Hillary Clinton understands American exceptionalism and how much the world needs us” Rumsfeld is quoted as saying.

Though an unlikely endorsement, this is not the first time Hillary Clinton and Donald Rumsfeld have found themselves on the same side of a political issue. In 2002, Hillary Clinton crossed the aisle in a courageous vote to deliver the benefits of liberty to the people of Iraq, via the agency of the US armed forces. Donald Rumsfeld was the secretary of defense at the time. This is a “known known”.  

Spokespersons for the Clinton campaign and Mr. Rumsfeld said the two had developed mutual respect and a close rapport over the years. “They both call Chicago home and share a certain mid-western simplicity. Also a common work ethic. They work very hard. Mr. Rumsfeld has a standing desk.” said the Clinton spokesperson. “This is what you might call an unknown unknown”, a spokesperson replied when asked why Mr. Rumsfled had switched his support.

With Mr. Rumsfeld’s endorsement, the Clinton campaign has been reluctantly endorsed by dozens of senior Republicans. Staffers speculated as to whether former vice-president Dick Cheney would join them. “If Cheney were to come on board, that would soften up a lot of formerly unreachable Republicans. We will always have our differences with them, but on some things, such as keeping America safe, we can agree that Secretary Clinton will be the better choice” a senior DNC official who requested anonymity said.

The biggest possible prize remains elusive, the Clinton campaign continues to pursue the highly coveted Kissinger endorsement. The pursuit continues despite recent revelations that the Carter administration was incensed at Mr. Kissinger’s 1978 trip to Argentina. On that occasion, Mr. Kissing publicly praised the military junta responsible for thousands of “disappearances”.


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